The Crazy Chicken Lady Gazette Vol 1, No 1

Bringing you all the chicken poop that’s fit to print, and some as what ain’t.

4618597-crazy-woman-wearing-a-metal-colander-for-a-helmet

The Great Chicken Kerfuffle

Summer brings gardening, fruits and vegetables and this summer the neighbors went into high gear. They have a half acre laid out in corn, beans, squash and tomatoes! It is quite the extravaganza with three families working and eating the produce.

Enter Miss Dixie, our wild little hen who lives in the trees and eats what she pleases, mostly bugs and seeds she finds, and the occasional flushing cheek of the largest most promising tomatoes in their garden, not mine…

Very recently, this caused the Mr. from next door to come over and firmly voice his complaints about said little white chicken. I quickly apologized and went on to explain Miss Dixie’s situation.

You see sir, Miss Dixie was one of several chickens who were attacked and damaged by a neighbors dogs in 2011. She being the only survivor, went rogue. Taking to the trees to roost by night and the field to forage by day. This worked out well for me because she came home to lay her eggs with the other hens and pick up a bite or two and then she continued her foraging for the day.

I further explained to him that I understand his concerns.Β  I told him,Β  “I will try to catch her, but make no promises because of my arthritis.Β  If I can’t catch her then we’ll figure something out.”

He acquiesced and went home.

Previous to this incident (last year in April, and right before my knee surgery) I had to get rid of my chickens because Bob wouldn’t have time to care for them, and I couldn’t manage the job at all. As well, our other neighbor had called to complain that my chickens were scratching up all her sons newly planted seeds and could I please catch them and pen them up! I told her not to worry, and that I planned to get rid of my chickens anyway. I managed to catch every one but Miss Dixie. So now it is the day before my surgery and I still haven’t caught her. I called the neighbor and said, I’m sorry but Miss Dixie is a wild chicken and I can’t catch her. If she’s too much bother then tell your husband to use her for target practice! To which she replied,

“OH NO, THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY, I’M SURE WE’LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!!!”

Originally, we were told by this particular neighbor who owns all the land and houses on our street except two, ours and the people across the street, that our chickens were delightful and it wasn’t a problem to let them free range in their pasture. As the land usage has changed I have tried to respond accordingly.

The surprise in all of this is now their renters, the Mr. whose tomatoes were accosted, have about 50 chickens of their own. Yes, really! So when his nephew came to the door and complained about Miss Dixie again, Bob told him that we had asked their landlord to make good on our previous suggestion as to what to do about Miss Dixie, and that he didn’t want to hear anymore about the subject! Sigh…

Apparently, this upset said Mr. and his family, and now suddenly they want to take Miss Dixie, clip her wings and put her in a chicken run.

Miss Dixie is wild, I told them. She is old and won’t take well to captivity, I said. Yet, they were adamant that if they clipped her wings and put her in with their chickens then it would work. That was two weeks ago. Day before yesterday, they let all their chickens out.

Miss Dixie slept in her tree that night. πŸ˜‰

She has not put a toenail nor pinfeather in their yard on either day, although she may in future…

I do hope they have the sense not to come knocking on our door again as regards Miss Dixie.

Miss-Dixie-and-RC

Miss Dixie and RC in happier times.

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30 thoughts on “The Crazy Chicken Lady Gazette Vol 1, No 1

  1. Jane says:

    Oh my, I do hope Miss Dixie manages to elude captivity as I agree that she won’t take well to captivity. Your story did make me smile as we have also had experience with rogue bantam chickens…and guinea pigs! Hopefully peace will reign soon…and all are content. πŸ™‚

    • Lynda says:

      I do too, Jane. Although technically, she is no longer my chicken… And yet, the neighbors have not made any inquiries since her escape or regarding her return. LOL!

  2. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Farmlet Lady, I love your story – it made me laugh! Good job and I’m for the chicken! (And, if you heard a hideous lie that I grew up on a chicken farm, then just disregard it!) But, I did! Nan

    • Lynda says:

      Thank you, Nan for your vote for Miss Dixie! I didn’t grow up on a farm, but we lived in a place with lots of farm animals for a few years when I was a child. Ducks, geese, turkeys, chickens, rabbits and goats! It was great! Good to know we have farm animals/chickens in common. πŸ˜€

  3. katechiconi says:

    I recommend a trail of bacon rinds… It always worked a treat when the Girls were escaping too often into next door’s vegie garden… But I suspect my Girls were a bit more conformist; Miss Dixie is a badass!

    • Lynda says:

      So, Kate, they ate the bacon rinds and wanted to stay home? Or were the bacon rinds used as a repellant? If they are a treat then no way am I gonna try it! I don’t want the neighbors 50 odd chickens invading my place to get at ’em! 😯
      Nah, she’s not a badass. She’s just a free spirit. πŸ˜‰

    • Lynda says:

      Simone, you sound just like Anne of Green Gables when she arrives on the train and meets Matthew Cuthbert for the first time.

      Anne to Matthew: “I wouldn’t be a bit afraid, and it would be lovely to sleep in a wild cherry-tree all white with bloom in the moonshine, don’t you think?”
      Chapter II ~ http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~rgs/anne-II.html

      πŸ˜‰ Love that Anne Girl.

        • Lynda says:

          I must confess the Canadian production with Megan Follows was/is my ultimate binge-watch! I used to watch the whole production back to back the first week of summer, every summer, when I was a teacher. Such a fun and relaxing way to detox from my school year.

  4. shoreacres says:

    Apparently it really is true that everything goes better with bacon. What a terrific — and many-chaptered — story. I’m betting on Miss Dixie. And I can’t tell you how funny I think it is that your chicken and my cat share the same name. My Miss Dixie can be a bit of a badass, too, although as she has begun moving into old age, there’s more napping and less trouble-making.

    You do realize that your chicken and my cat have names that are skirting the fringes of political correctness these days. πŸ™‚

    Last week at work, I wrote a truly satirical piece (in my head) about changing Dixie Rose’s name to something more “acceptable.” It’ll never see the light of day, but it was fun to think about!

    Let us know what happens with the bacon. I’m completely intrigued with that.

    • Lynda says:

      Linda, I named her after these fine ladies!
      This particular song Wide Open Spaces seems to fit the bill. πŸ˜‰

      http://www.dixiechicks.com/

      As for her name, she’s an old chicken and I don’t think she’ll take to a name change at her age. πŸ™‚
      And, dare I share? The Mr. with the 50 chickens and hen-pecked tomatoes was seen sporting a certain notorious flag off the back of his pickup all last week.
      Icky, in the 12th degree, sez me.

      PS: There will be a followup on the bacon trap method to be sure!

    • Lynda says:

      Firstly, you did not read that right. πŸ˜€

      We haven’t been able to move to the Mountain Farmlet yet, because it needs so many extensive repairs. At the moment, and this could change in another moment, our plan is to see the 1 acre farmlet and then move onto the property up in the Freedom Hills (aka: Mountain Farmlet). This is either going to help us out by being right there to set to work each day, or kill us outright because we will be camping out in the storage room and using the facilities in the main house.

      kRaZy? You bet. But we are not getting a d@mn thing accomplished trying to do all that awful driving. And to top it off, in the spring and summer all we get done is mowing, kudzu and poison ivy patrol, and weed whacking. We need the geese and goats to help us with that work so we can get going on restoring our new home. We want it to look as beautiful as your B&B you created from your mother’s homestead. You must be so elated, in spite of the extra hard work, to see that undertaking DONE! I saw your latest video on Houzz last week. You would never know how much, or how hard, you work by your lovely peaceful face. As for visiting the Goose Farm, you know I would love that, and I hope to be able to sometime in the not too distant future! Thank you for asking, Connie. πŸ˜€

    • Lynda says:

      Not on your life, Tom, there will be no climbing of fences! πŸ˜€ I don’t do fence climbing anymore, not since I was 50 and figured out I could still do it… There were extenuating circumstances. However, with my knees, I just can’t anymore.

      How awful for you, breaking a rib! 😯

  5. Boomdeeadda says:

    Good grief, I can’t imagine someone getting so excited about a tomato. Maybe have a few available incase he knocks again. I would love a Chicken visitor to the yard, that’d be the highlight of the day. I’ve held a few chickens in my time, they were used to being handled and actually enjoyed being carried around. Go Ms Dixie Go

    • Lynda says:

      I know, Boomdee! I particularly got irritated (after the fact) when I realized that I had just previously given his nephew a small used hutch and a large $35.00 water font for his (the kid’s) chickens. I did think of the tomato offering, but he never came back. Dixie doesn’t seem to have learned her lesson yet. She has been captured twice so far, but always heads here as soon as she gets free. She could stay with my chickens but never seems to go over the north fence to get to them. Silly chicken!

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